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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25029058">If I don’t have you with me, I’m alone/You know, I never know which way to go</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TateTheSmolBlondeBoi/pseuds/TateTheSmolBlondeBoi'>TateTheSmolBlondeBoi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bottom! Vigil, Canon Plot Elements, Collars, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dom Tachanka, Dom/sub, Dom/sub Undertones, Emotions, Game: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Siege, Jacket Stealing, Lingerie, Long-Distance Relationship, Longing, M/M, Master/Pet, Mild Hurt/Comfort, More Detailed Smut in Future, Ownership, Porn with Feelings, Possible Anal Sex in Future, Possibly more Porn in Future, Slow Burn, Tachanka/Vigil, Top! Tachanka, fantasies, jackets, m/m - Freeform, m/m rare 2022, mature content, slight pet play, sub Vigil</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:35:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,015</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25029058</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TateTheSmolBlondeBoi/pseuds/TateTheSmolBlondeBoi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A Russian man who never allowed himself relief, and a Korean boy who would leave breadcrumbs at his feet unknowingly, hoping to guide him into his sea, hoping for the man to save him from what consumes him, to set the Russian man free.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chul Kyung "Vigil" Hwa/Alexsandr "Tachanka" Senaviev</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>If I don’t have you with me, I’m alone/You know, I never know which way to go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=A+Homeboy">A Homeboy</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>written from a deep place caused by a homeboy who triggered it, it might be multi-chaptered if it becomes popular by many, send a request for something if you would like, titled after the song, ''Compass'' by The Neighbourhood, thank you.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>     He waited on his knees like his life depended on it. Letting his pale skin begin to dig into the plush carpet underneath his knees, creating an almost burning sensation considering he had been putting pressure on those points for more time than the Korean boy’s mind could understand at this moment.</p><p>      His brain was clouded by excitement, he was building the suspense of his owner coming home to him. Having his owner touch him for the first time in weeks. Feeling his rough hands on his fragile skin, wanting those very touches to bruise him and ruin him. </p><p>     He had begged Tachanka to come home for days now. Promising everything including his own fingers and obedience as payment, but the man’s mission would not be completed any faster with either. Vigil knew he must have patience on these missions, when he is on them himself he must understand that every piece of knowledge provided is on a need to know basis. Meaning every little bit, every little minute he is there, is planned, meaning something to the bigger picture, whether he likes it or not. </p><p>     With his Russian’s mission at hand, he could not see the bigger picture with what little context he was given, but he knew if they had him in the field for this long, it meant something serious. Vigil knew the man could not give away confidential details knowing what codes would be broken and issues that it would bring, but he wished he could help to make the mission go a lot smoother, bringing his Russian home faster, letting the bigger man come home to him. Letting Alexsandr see how important he was to the boy. But the importance did not matter in the Korean’s brain at times. His priorities always changed with each head space he was in, at times he could not care if Tachanka ever set foot in the space they shared together as a home, other times he was hot and heavy with emotions and complications, he needed him every second of the day, every moment he took a breath, he lived off of Tachanka. And of course the Russian knew his boy well-enough to figure these things out, even though he had been quite stubborn about starting or explaining any of these pieces to him willingly. </p><p>     Many conversations, and drinks between the two lead to simple understanding between them. Knowing the words before they were spoken. Making the boy become more trusting in the man’s hands, letting the boy hand over his trust to Alexsandr crumb by crumb. And with each incident between the two, came more opportunities and meeting between them. During missions and vacations, each had a need for the other over the few months of time they spent together. Leading to Alexsandr learning the boy’s body behaviors and responses with ease. Giving him the advantage of knowing his needs without his words, which was a skill that benefited him more than Vigil confesses to. These little crumbs became more apparent over time. Leading to deep conversations and experimentation. Showing each how they could no longer live without these crumbs in their lives. </p><p>     The first of the breadcrumbs were collected over a single incident which led to Tachanka’s knowledge about his soon to be love. It began with how the Korean would ask for his jacket during missions regardless of the size or the weather, leaving Tachanka without a cover for days or weeks depending on the incident in particular. He began to wonder what the boy ever did with it, even if he lost it at times, but somehow the Korean would always return the piece of clothing in time. He would even wash it. Tachanka picked up on the new scents that would come with it each time. Depending on Vigil’s laundry detergent and softener of the week.        </p><p>    Some weeks it would be of light dabbles of flowers and fields, other times it was a fresh ocean breeze being brought to him by the shores, his favorite was the Korean’s own cologne. It was a simple smell but one that belonged to the man personally. It brought him some relief during harsh moments, knowing someone needed him for something, even if it was simply for his jacket. </p><p>     The Russian man never minded, never thought of it, never thought into his actions until it was brought to his attention but his South Korean partner in crime. She brought up the fact the boy brought his jacket into their shared room at times, and how the boy would ‘’dirty’’ the jacket in his possession. How the boy would sleep in the over-sized green cover, how we could die rather than to wear anything but it at times. It seemed to have meant something to him, and she said he would not talk about it with him, he was embarrassed, needy and shy, were the words she used. And Alexsandr could not have been more impressed or surprised by the knowledge at hand. </p><p>     Alexsandr sat on the knowledge in his head. Pondering over outcomes and reactions he could give, how the confrontation would go. Finding ways to not scare the boy from him, but rather explain he would like to dive deeper into these new  possibilities. </p><p>     It is simply a jacket. Not one of specialty or of special use, but rather of wear and tear. It has been worn for years by the Russian man, meaning it is personally his in a way, worn in the shoulders by his broad body. Having rips and tears in the sides from knives and attacks from multiple enemies at times. Dressed in patches of his rewards and his promotions handed down by the most elite themselves. Stained in places he could no longer care to address but embrace instead. It was simply his, decorated and littered with his experiences and dealings. Maybe that is why the Korean adored it. </p><p>     Knowing he could never ask for the real thing, so he found something to replace the raw need into something more simplistic and easy to obtain. It was smart. In a way Tachanka was impressed by how he was able to maintain those feelings in himself even though the two had worked a plenty of missions before. Being next to the boy in combat and in the barracks. He could not believe the boy had feelings for him little less like him in any way other than brotherly from their previous interactions.</p><p>     He didn’t mind it in all honesty. Alexsandr has been out of commission for a while considering his little to no social life and how he has been consumed by his duties. Always avoiding too emotionally filled motives and such not wanting to interfere with the justice he deals out for a living, knowing he must be unbiased and emotionless in most aspects of his life to preserve his livelihood. But this instance was different somehow. Women and men alike approached Alexsandr with interest in him. Romantically, emotionally, and even sexually. </p><p>     But none of the offers went much of anywhere, Tachanka never let himself have such indulgences knowing he would become too involved in their meanings and motives. Knowing he would let the sinfulness of each offer consume him until he felt nothing but it. Nothing but the things he had been so deprived from for so long. He could not even dare. </p><p>     But the Korean man was something Tachanka began to rationalize in his head. Seeing how innocent his intentions are, seeing how this could be something he could consume himself in and still be able to work outside of it as well. Have the best of the both worlds he needs. Vigil was much smaller than Alexsandr, much weaker, much needier. Meaning Tachanka could possibly strike a deal with the boy. Promising the care he craves and longs for so bad, for a moment of relief for Tachanka. A breath of ecstasy in his suffering. The smoke he needs to distract himself from everything outside of the boy. </p><p>     He was delusional. The long weeks of missions ranging from different countries to completely different continents got to his head. He needed a way to rest, and this way was much easier to explain on mission heads, and much easier to indulge in on the go to wherever he must go that moment of precious time. Alexsandr was beginning to see himself unravel, and this was what was needed to stop that from becoming too involved in his work. It was something his brain needed, a basic need. Yes, a basic need, he almost said aloud to himself in the moment. He had the motive. He had the reasoning. Alexsandr sounded crazy to himself but once he showed the boy his plans, the boy was almost drooling for it by the time the Russian barely got a second sentence out of his lips. </p><p>     Which leads to this exact moment. With Vigil sitting on his knees in front of Alexsandr’s apartment door, waiting for his Master to get home and allow him the sweet promise that the Russian man had carved into the small boy’s soul. The living room surrounding the boy was dimly lit, to create a lustful atmosphere around him. To further push the motivations of the man soon to be home. Vigil had dinner set on the table for around thirty minutes now. Having made a traditional Korean meal for his lover, begging he wouldn’t mind spoiling his dinner with his dessert first. Waiting at his door, covered in a body blush that dusted his upper body in pink. Almost begging for his fragile figure to be broken into like a glass pane in a burglary.</p><p>     The small Korean’s body was adorned with a pair of delicate lace panties that were snug against his pale-white hips,  matching with the small piece of white leather that wrapped itself around his neck lovingly. It had a small golden bell on the very front of the collar. Jingling softly with every bounce the Korean made with his body, sitting in anticipation of the events ahead of him. Chewing his lip covered in a simple light gloss, knowing he needed this moment more than ever, having this be the longest without his Russian lover, only made his longings worse. His need to be worth something, his desire to be wanted. All of it swelled inside of him. Stroking the most sinful things in his soul so perfectly, allowing him to be the thing Tachanka always wanted most. An obedient little house pet.</p><p>     A text flashed upon his phone screen around fifteen minutes ago, letting him know that his Master was coming home soon, letting him know he must be ready for his Master the moment he gets home. Alexsandr had waited for this moment just as the boy had. Not wanting anymore of his nights spent solely in a tent barely put up by it’s poles and his hand. He needed something more intimate. He needed his boy bent over every piece of furniture in his modern apartment. Knowing his boy would beg for it, would cry out for every thrust. The fantasies were no longer enough. He needed the real thing. </p><p>     Having the biting need to have his boy wrap his pretty pink lips around him and make him ease into a state of relaxation. Making him unwrap himself from his stresses, then allowing himself the time and motivation to make his boy feel needed. Make his boy worth the time and effort he put to train him just for his needs. Knowing full well that his boy would be useless without his cock. Without his every guiding command. The small Korean would be lost out in his own sea, begging for someone to come save him. Longing for a sense of worth ,a sense of ownership over him. Being overwhelmed by his needs and the demons that haunt and taunt him. Tangling into a sinister twist that would never let him out of their grasps again. Somewhere in Germany once more, begging for his jacket. </p>
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